im amazed

by your words

your face and how i know every single part of it

i cant stop thinking about how it shouldnt be but it is

i cant hold back how i feel

now this ring it burns it burns to my heart

i know im with the one i was meant to be with

I know he is the one whom i was born for

i have cried i have hurt i have died

I dont know who i am with him nor do i know who he wants me to be

im amazed

every part of my heart was his and now im not so sure

he has hurt every part of that heart i gave him

i saved some for me… where does it go

where does time go.

why am i on the edge of this ledge questioning every answer

why am i answering

stop stop stop

im amazed

at where i am

and where im not.

i love him… i want his love

sarazucker:

these jil sander laser-cut wood and calfskin wedges have a mind-blowing $1,240 price-tag, but, you know what? i don’t even care. get in my closet.

What happen to this boy!!!?? He is so grown now.

Thats my boy!

cried to me last night…

why won’t you hold me?

im not breathing anymore. you killed me. you put me in this box and placed this bag on my head. you stopped me from yelling and you silenced my cries. my heart is too heavy to continue to beat. im cold now. you left me cold. no more happiness or love to warm me. no more magical kisses to wake me. no more sweet words of i love you to pierce these deaf ears. you held me down. pushed me down. kicked me down then stood on me. you beat me up and everyone sees the bruises. you killed my spirit long before my heart took its last breath. its over now. a month from now ill be a headstone and a patch of grass. so tell me goodbye bc the morning of a new day is coming. ill stop haunting you and causing you pain if you stop calling on me to come to your aid.

I’m strong enough to handle any story you can tell… I’m wise enough to weed through the bullshit and see the truth and I certainly maintain enough respect for myself to be honest no matter what the cost or who it hurts. I have an absolute low tolerance for anyone who continues to lie after they have been caught, forgiven and also been shown the rules. Those of you who know me know my rules.

If I in fact keep you around after you have lied I either A) care for you enough to give you a second chance or B) find you and your lies worthless with the exception of being a pure form of human entertainment.. puppets if you will.

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness…

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

I’m standing close to greatness

its  what “they” say

then why cant i feel him even when im laying in his arms

why cant i stare into his eyes without feeling empty myself

where is the bubble to come take us away

habit babygirl

you cant see good through bad

its all around me suffocating my smiles

not literally bc even a girl like me can smile

ive been taught well by a broken heart

thats it

im broken

still….

so tomorrow will be my day

wait - i said that yesterday

im going to keep my head up

as it drags upon the ground

one step at a time

barefoot on broken glass

a soldier without a shield

im a pretty girl missing her heart

a hateful bitch

dont blame me

you.

you.

9/28/2008 blog posted by my husband 

Let me tell you of a story of how I met the woman of my dreams. We met 10 years ago. I still remember like it was yesterday. She stood in front me and didn’t even know my name. Hell we never even looked twice at each other. She had her life and I had mine. Who would’ve thought that we ended up as best friends let alone lovers. Here we are today together and happy. You all see the change in her eye’s and mine. I would give her my life to make her happy, and she feels the same. Who would have thought 10 years ago we would be together? It was that unspoken connection that no one could explain. She has taught me the true meaning of happiness. What it feels like to be loved no matter what I know she’s here. Our saying is ride or die and I know she truly means it. I have a few friends that always ask how do you know? I tell them when you meet that person everything falls into place. Hell she’ll tell you we have our ups and downs but at the end of the day we know there’s only one place we want to be and thats with each other. Through thick and thin. When I lay down at night I want her here with me. A relationship isn’t always easy it takes work. We both can tell you that. The one thing you need is TRUE LOVE and we have that!!! Its something you can’t buy. The one thing I can tell you is that she makes all my dreams come true. Without her I would be lost in this crazy world. To my one and only I LOVE YOU RIDE OR DIE BABY!!!!!